Man splattered as airplane drops ‘fluidy’ excrement

A man in Windsor said he was “splattered in a very uncomfortable way” when human litter was dropped from an airplane. Councilor Karen Davies said she was “horrified” to hear about the incident. One of her colleagues speculated that the warm weather on the day of the suboptimal incident meant that the excrement “may have come out as a ‘more fluid’ object”. One local resident said that “if a plane sends it on people’s heads” it is “hideous, frankly”.

Queen rejects Oldie Award

The Queen turned down an award for Oldie of the Year, saying, “You are only as old as you feel”. The 95-year-old declined the award “politely but firmly”, but sent the oldie magazine a message with her “warmest regards,” said the BBC. “Her Majesty believes you are as old as you feel,” added the message. Her late husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, was 2011 Oldie of the Year.

Gardener should cut “obscene” bush

A gardener who has trimmed a 3 meter long hedge in one hand with an outstretched middle finger has been warned that if he does not cut down the “obscene” bush, he will face police action. Richard Jenkins, 63, originally carved it as a joke 20 years ago. The Cheeky Bush has become an online hit, attracting hundreds of visitors, with Instagram and TikTok fans eager to be filmed when standing by.

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